Surviving Misery
by sdahenyu
Summary: House is in a car accident. House tells everyone an oncoming car had hit him, but Cuddy knows there are deeper reasons behind the accident, and begins to investigate into them. Can she save him from himself before it's too late. Huddy.
1. Chapter 1

Surviving Misery

Chapter 1

Gregory House was driving in the rain from a bar to his apartment. He had downed a lot of alcohol in an attempt to forget the events that occurred that day. The road was a black, slick blur with random flicks of yellow. He looked down at his radio, it was 11:46pm. When he looked up, there was three cars headed toward him. He swerved to avoid them, but to no avail. His head hit the steering wheel immediately on impact, giving him a concussion. His head then hit the back of his seat as his body flew to the left of the car. The passenger window shattered, and painted his body in fragments of glass.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lisa Cuddy walked into House's office, wanting to remind him of his clinic obligations that he had the next day. She quickly saw Cameron, Chase, and Foreman, but no House. Normally at 1:32am that would be no surprise, but House had a patient an ICU with no known diagnosis and he said he'd meet them at 12:30am. Cuddy had become worried, but she refused to show it to House's team.

"Any word from Dr. House yet?" Cuddy asked his team, hoping he had called about being late.

"No, nothing," Cameron stated plainly.

"Who saw him last?" Cuddy questioned, wanting clues about his where abouts.

"That would be me. He had a phone call, then just kinda began blankly staring. He left a couple minutes later." Chase told her as he tossed House's tennis ball.

The phine rang and Foreman answered it. A few minutes later, he hung up and looked at the group.

"They found House about two miles from his apartment. He was in a pretty bad car wreck, he hit another car head on. He's sustained a lot of injuries, but he's on his way here via helicopter." Foreman explained.

"Then I'll stay here. You all go on home and get some sleep," Cameron suggested.

"Thanks, if you get any information about him call me," Cuddy said as she headed for the door.

"Me too," Foreman said before he left the office.

Cuddy left the room, but she did not leave the building. She went to her office and sat down in her chair. Tears flooded her eyes, as she laid her head in her arms.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Chase looked at Cameron, a little concerned.

"Do you want me to stay?" He asked.

"No. I'll be fine. Go home, get some rest." Cameron replied before leaving the office.

Cameron went straight toward the emergency room entrance, to wait on House's arrival. Three minutes later he arrived on a stretcher, covered in blood.

"He has seven major wounds from where the glass had broke from the window. He was found unconscious at the scene and has lost a lot of blood. He has a nasty bruise on his head, so there is probably some neurological damage. His arm broke at the shoulder, and you might want to do an x-ray of his chest. The air bag may have caused a chest problem." The EMT person explained.

"Thank you." Cameron said as they pushed House into the emergency room.

Six hours later House was in his own room, covered in bandages. He had forty-six stitches to close all of his wounds, that mostly occurred from the glass. He had three wounds on his chest, one on his arm, one on his leg, and one in his side. His left arm was in a cast and securely locked into place so the bone could heal properly. His chest x-ray came back clean and the MRI showed a major concussion but nothing permanent. Cameron sat down in a chair next to his bed and called everyone on their cell. After everyone had received the message, she had curled up in a chair and fell asleep.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lisa Cuddy headed toward House's room after the she had went to the lab. As she walked past House's room, she found Cameron sleeping. Cuddy carefully crept into his room and lightly tapped Cameron on the shoulder.

"Why don't you go home, Alison. I can sit in for a while. I'll call you if anything changes." Cuddy suggested.

"Alright. But do call me if he changes." Cameron replied.

"I promise." Cuddy replied.

Cameron left the room and Cuddy took her place in the chair, after she scooted it as close to the bed as possible. She laid the papers she had carried in on the table, then stared at House.

"What happened House?"

"How did you know that I was awake?" House asked as he opened his eyes.

"I've known you long enough to know when you're faking." Cuddy replied, "Now what happened?"

"I hit a car. Didn't you read the report? I did, fascinating stuff."

"What happened to you to make you drink enough alcohol that your BAC level on admission was O.28%?" Cuddy asked in a serious tone.

"My leg hurt. Alcohol numbs the pain."

"You're lying. You know as well as I do that I know when you're lying. Your pain wasn't the reason you were drinking. What was the reason Greg? What could drive you to a bar, this late at night?"

"It's none of your business," House declared as his mind traced his steps from the previous day.

"The hell it's not. You're my employee House. You're my friend and I care about you. I'm worried about you, so worried that I bribed and threatened the lab technician into changing your results to clear you of having any alcohol in your system. This is the only copy of your true BAC level. So what happened?" Cuddy asked as she ripped up the results.

"If you were smarter, you would've blackmailed me with those," House said as she scooted herself close to his bed.

"I don't lower myself to those standards. So what happened Greg? I want to help you, but I can't unless I know all the facts." Cuddy pleaded.

House sat their in silence for a few minutes as he thought about what had happened. He debated telling her then finally decided he might as well tell her. He could use someone to talk to.

A/N: Alright guys, this is the first chapter. I'll do my best to publish next chapter soon. Please reviews are appreciated and loved, so tell me what you think or how I can make it better. Thanks


	2. Chapter 2

Surviving Misery

Chapter 2

House sat their in silence for a few minutes as he thought about what had happened. He debated telling her then finally decided he might as well tell her. He could use someone to talk to.

" About three days ago, I got a phone call. My parents were both admitted in a hospital in Baltimore after mysteriously becoming sick. So I drove down there on my day off, and found out that they had symptoms exactly like Foreman had a few years ago. Giddiness, loss of sight, severe pain, all signs of parasitic ameba Naegleria. The doctors down there however, thought it was Atropine poisoning. I refused to believe it, I mean Atropine poisoning is extremely rare. Well I told them to start treating for the Naegleria. My parents health began improving, so I came back here. I couldn't miss a day of clinic duty, it would ruin the rest of my week. Well, yesterday I got a phone call from one of the doctors down there. My parents had died from a severe case of Atropine poisoning. By the time they had found my number, the autopsy had been performed. I killed my parents because I was too selfish, too prideful to accept another doctor's opinion. So in order to keep my from constantly reminding me that I was a murderer, I went to the nearest bar I could find to get wasted. About two hours later my pager went off, telling me to go back to the hospital. Without truly thinking it through, I began to drive back to my apartment to shower first. The end of the story about how an egotistical bastard killed his parents." House explained.

By the of the story House's eyes were watery, but he refused to cry, especially in front of Cuddy. She was shocked for a few minutes, but immediately grabbed his hand. Her touch was comforting, but it couldn't absolve him of his crime.

" It's not your fault. Greg, it's not your fault. Any doctor would have made that call." Cuddy said trying to relieve him of his guilt.

Regardless of her attempt, it didn't change anything. There was still guilt, and his parents were still dead.

" If any doctor would have diagnosed them with parasitic ameba Naegleria, why didn't the doctors in Baltimore? It was my narcissistic pride that blinded me and told me to show them up. Diagnosis it with a disease instead of a mere poison. I -" he started but just fell silent, noting that he had explained his judgement once.

He noticed that Cuddy was silently crying as she squeezed his hand. She was either crying because she felt sorry for him or because she knew he couldn't and was crying in place of him.

" It wasn't your fault. You made the call you thought was right. You said it yourself, the symptoms all pointed to parasitic ameba Naegleria. People make mistakes. It's what defines our humanity. Quit blaming yourself. Aren't you miserable enough? You don't have to blame yourself, trust me it's not worth it. I never told you about what happened to my brother, did I?" she asked him trying to take his mind off of his own guilt.

" No, I didn't know you had a brother. I thought you only had a sister."

" Well, he was my younger brother that had asked me for a ride to the store. He was only twelve years old. So I took him to the store, he bought a new pair of shoes and some gum. Anyway on our way back home, my cell phone rang. I answered it and wasn't paying attention to the I looked up there was a tractor trailer coming down the road on his side. I couldn't move fast enough, so it hit us at 60 miles per hour. By the time our car had stopped spinning, he was dead. My parents blamed the other driver, but I always blamed myself. Still blame myself actually. It's not a good idea to put all the blame on yourself. I know better than anyone. I know you like to be miserable, but please don't become that miserable. It changes you beyond your control, and will slowly eat at you until there is nothing left." Cuddy explained.

They sat in silence for a while, nothing that one could say would truly help the situation. After a while Cuddy decided to speak.

" I didn't tell anyone about your BAC level, and I won't. It's not something they need to know. And I won't tell them about the circumstances that led up to your accident. It's not my story to tell, and because I don't want to tell it." Cuddy said as she wiped her eyes dry.

" Thank you," House replied softly.

" Your welcome. It wasn't your fault. Find some distractions to take your mind off of it, it helps more than your vicodin can." Cuddy said before she left the room.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

James Wilson walked into House's room and sat down beside him.

" How are you feeling?" Wilson asked him concerned.

" I'm great for another three hours, then they decrease my morphine intake. I thought hospitals were supposed to keep patients comfortable." House replied.

" Unless of course they knew that the patient had an addiction to pain killers. So what happened? Cameron told me you hit a car head-on."

" Yeah I hit a car, after I lost control of my vehicle. Rain kills."

" I don't believe you just lost control of your vehicle, that's not like you. I do believe however that your leg may have caused you more pain than usual, so you took extra vicodin. Got stoned then lost control of the vehicle, and hit another car. All because your judgement was impaired." Wilson explained.

House figured that was as good as explanation as any. And it sounded like him, so he went with that.

" Doesn't sound any better though, does it? I woke up yesterday and could barely move. So I took a couple of shots of morphine, then went to work. About eight hours later, it began to wear off, so I popped a few extra vicodin. I didn't realize that this would be the result," House lied, not wanting to tell Wilson what really happened.

" At least you're still alive. You can continue your search for the noble prize."

" I wouldn't want that thing if it was the last thing on this planet." House replied happily.

" The driver you hit is alright by the way. She didn't suffer anything more severe than a concussion." Wilson stated.

" Good." House replied.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A few hours after Wilson left, Cuddy came back.

A/N: I hope y'all enjoyed the latest chapter. I wonder what Cuddy wants to talk about? I'll post the next one after the holidays. Please continue to send me reviews, I love feedback (the good and the bad). Thanks.


	3. Chapter 3

Surviving Misery

Chapter 3

A few hours after Wilson left, Cuddy came back. House watched as she closed the door and then stood at the front of the hospital bed.

"Hey, how are you feeling, House?" Cuddy asked.

"They lowered my morphine dosage, if you increase it again, I'll be happy," House said with a half smile.

"Not gonna happen," Cuddy replied.

"Thought I'd try."

"Did Wilson visit you yet?"

"Yeah. He told me that the reason I wrecked was because I was stoned. I agreed with him. I didn't want to tell him about what actually happened. I didn't even want to tell you about what happened."

"You needed to tell someone. Just to talk to someone. You can't hold things like that in. It'll only hurt you later." Cuddy explained.

"Yeah, but you won't hurt others who it may affect." House replied quietly.

Cuddy looked at him curiously but he did not elaborate on what he had said. So she decided to change the subject.

"In another hour you're being released from the hospital. I pulled some strings, and had a long talk with the board of the directors. They agreed to release you on a few terms. You have another a week before you can start work again. So the terms require that you stay with someone with a medical background. I suggested you stay with me. I've already taken a week off, and I'll will be taking you to and from work. You can stay in my guest room." Cuddy offered.

"Why? You don't even like me, Cuddy."

"You need a friend house, and I' offering. I care about you House, and I want to make sure you're okay. And the best way I can do that is bying offering you my guest room," Cuddy replied.

House knew that she would not take no for an answer, she is stubborn. Truth be told, House really didn't mind, afterall that's free food and rides.

"Fine, I'll stay. Just don't tell anyone, that might lead to them thinking that we're having sex. Which would end in us having to answer more questions," House stated.

Cuddy smiled and headed toward the door, "I'll see you in an hour."

Cuddy left the room as Cameron, Chase, and Foreman came into his room.

"What did she want?" Cameron asked curiously.

"Wanted to play doctor, I told her I wasn't up for it. So did the kids miss daddy upstairs?" House asked.

"No, we did daddy's help. Our patient has gotten a lot worse. We thought we cured her, but we were wrong. Now she is suffering from hallucinations, loss of feeling, and severe headaches." Cameron declared.

"Did you do an MRI?" House asked.

"Of course. It was negative." Chase replied.

"You wouldn't be here if it wasn't, lap dog. So what does that tell us?" House questioned.

"I think that there was a tumor, the MRI just didn't show it." Foreman replied.

"Our MRI machine did not steal the tumor, Foreman. What are other options?" House asked.

"I don't even think there hallucinations. They think it's a tumor. You're call," Chase replied.

"Well then go to her house, check for the usual suspects. Then try to induce a hallucination. Run some blood tests too. After all of that, which ever is positive, treat for that. I'll be out for a week. Don't throw a party while I'm gone."

"Why a week?" Foreman questioned in disbelief.

"Because that's all Cuddy offered me, so I took it. I'll be going straight to sleep, when I got home." House replied.

"You can't go to sleep, you have a concussion. If you sleep, you may die."Cameron chimed in.

"Fine, I'll stay awake, watching a marathon of monster trucks. If anyone knocks on my door, I'll ignore it," House stated as he looked directly at Cameron.

"We'll leave you to get ready to leave. Enjoy your vacation," Cameron replied.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

About an hour later, House was getting into Cuddy's car, sitting in the passenger seat. Cuddy got into the driver side and immediately started up the car. Cuddy only lived ten minutes away from the hospital and he refused for it to be filled with awkward silence. House didn't like small talk so he thought he should ask a question that he could benefit from.

A/N: Sorry I took a week for the next chapter. School ruled my life again. But anyway here y'all go, enjoy it. Hopefully I can get the next chapter up within a few a days. As always please review. Thanks

P.S. Sorry so short guys.


	4. Chapter 4

Surviving Misery

Chapter 4

About an hour later, House was getting into Cuddy's car, sitting in the passenger seat. Cuddy got into the driver side and immediately started up the car. Cuddy only lived ten minutes away from the hospital and he refused for it to be filled with awkward silence. House didn't like small talk so he thought he should ask a question that he could benefit from.

"How did you deal with your brother's death?"

Cuddy waited a minute before responding to the question, "The truth? Well, I didn't deal with it well. After I got out of the hospital, I became self-destructive. I quickly moved out of my parents house, and got my own apartment. I couldn't bear the thought of them looking at me and thinking that I had killed him. They said that they never thought like that, but I knew that they did. I mean if Scott didn't get in the car with me that day, he wouldn't have died. And I had and still have to live with that. I began to drink obsessively to the point that all I could think about was where the next bar was. I would drink and drink and drink, in hopes that I would forget what I had done, but I didn't. The only problem was that no matter how much I would drink, I couldn't get rid of his memory. I moved on to barbiturates, hoping if I was asleep I wouldn't think about him. Instead I had nightmares about the accident. There was no escape."

Cuddy had tears streaming down her face, but continued driving.

"So how did you escape?" House asked curiously.

"Well one night, I was so strung out on barbiturates and alcohol that I decided to try a new tactic. I wanted to kill myself. So I got the gun from my best friend's dresser drawer, and I sat down next to the window. I put the gun to my head, and placed my finger on the trigger. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes. Before I could pull the trigger, I was pushed into the floor and the gun was no where to be found. My best friend at the time had tackled me to the floor, and stripped me of my weapon. I broke down, and began crying uncontrollably. She never left my side after that. The next day she made me see a psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with depression and prescribed me anti-depression pills. Six months later, I stopped taking the pills, and went to Scott's grave. I made amends with him, and then dedicated my life to helping people. Which is why I became a doctor."

"Does his memory still haunt you?"

"I still think about him. I'm reminded of him all the time, but it doesn't haunt me. The only day that bothers me is -"

"The day of the accident. March 24."

"How did you know that?"

"You hardly ever miss work. You only miss work a few times a year. But you miss March 24, consecutively every year. Even when we were at Michigan, you missed that day. I knew it was linked to a painful event, I had no idea it was your brother. I just put the pieces together." House explained.

"I don't talk about Scott much to anyone, not even to my parents. Why did you want to know how I dealt with his death?" Cuddy asked as she parked her car in her driveway.

"You went through a similar event as me, and you seemed to be okay with what had happened. I wanted to know how you did it, because I am going through it now. I guess I just wanted hope that one day, I ... I won't hate myself." House replied, his voice cracking.

Cuddy gently placed her hand on his, and squeezed lightly.

"You'll get through this Greg. With time the pain will dull, and the hatred will fade. But you don't have to go through it alone, I'll be here for you."

Cuddy didn't give him a chance to reply, and got out the car. She went around to the passenger's side of the car, and helped House get out of the car.

A/N: Sorry guys for how late I got this chapter published. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Please review and thank you. Hope to get next chapter up by next week. Oh yeah I forgot to put a disclaimer so here it is:

Disclaimer: I do not own House md or any of it's characters. They are David Shore's creations. I only borrowed them.


	5. Chapter 5

Surviving Misery

Chapter 5

"You'll get through this Greg. With time the pain will dull, and the hatred will fade. But you don't have to go through it alone, I'll be here for you."

Cuddy didn't give him a chance to reply, and got out the car. She went around to the passenger's side of the car, and helped House get out of the car.

She helped him into the house and into the guest room where he would be staying.

"Well I know it's not as spacious as your own apartment, but it'll have to do until you heal," Cuddy explained.

"You're right, it's not the Ritz, but it'll do just fine. So I guess it's time for me to go to bed, huh?" House replied.

"That would be the idea, yes. You've had a long day," Cuddy said as she walked toward the door.

"So do I get a good night kiss?"

"G'night House."

"G'night Cuddy."

Cuddy gave him one last smile before turning out the light, and leaving the room. House smiled faintly, it had been a while since he had seen Cuddy smile at him. House closed his eyes, and quickly fell asleep.

Once Cuddy left the room, she sat down in the living room, and waited for an hour, to make sure House was asleep. She checked on him, then the house. She drove to his apartment and found his spare key. She quickly opened his door, and went inside. She rushed to his bedroom, and went into his closet. She pulled down a duffel bag, and packed it full of his clothes. She went into his living room, and walked toward a bookshelf. She pulled out a Lupus textbook, and opened it up. She found a bottle of vicodin and put it in her pocket.

"It's never Lupus." Cuddy said to herself as she put back the book.

She then went to walk out the apartment when she passed his phone. One unheard message. She clicked the button to play the recording.

"Dr. Gregory House, this is Karen Danely from the Baltimore Memorial Hospital, it's very important that you call me back. It's about your parents health. Please give me a call back at 567-932-5487. Thank you."

Cuddy deleted the message and then left the apartment. She arrived back at her house, and quietly slipped back into her house. Lisa layed his stuff next to his door, then went into her own room. She changed into her night wear, and went to sleep.

House was in a hallway of a hospital, pacing back and forth. He had to find the answer, he had to figure out the puzzle. He turned around and was met with his father. House was stunned, and took a few steps back. House's father looked extremely pale, and was dressed in a hospital gown.

"Dad?" House questioned.

"What's the matter Greg, you look like you've seen a ghost," his father asked.

"You're dead, that's what's wrong." House replied almost instinctively.

"Well you should know, you killed me. You screwed up again, Greg. You've let me down again. What do think your punishment shall be?"

"I - I - I, I don't know."

"Your mother should know the right punishment, let's go ask her."

"No dad, no. Don't bring this to her, she doesn't need to know," House replied, practically begging.

"You're right Greg, I don't need to know, but I do. You killed us. Our own son killed us. You let your pride get in the way and now we're dead," his mother stated.

"No mom, it wasn't like that. It wasn't. Please, I'm sorry, okay?" House replied on the break of tears.

"You failed us Greg. When we needed you the most you failed us. You should experience what we went through. What you put us through." House's father said.

His father took more steps toward him, and House backed up into the wall.

"Dad, no. Please no. I'm sorry. I didn't mean too. I'm sorry." House said as he slid down the wall.

"Oh, it's too late for that. You killed us. Your own parents. Sorry doesn't cut it. It's time you experience what we did." House's father continued.

House's father towered over him, then slowly reached out toward Greg's arm.

"HOUSE!!!!!! HOUSE!!!!!! WAKE UP!!!!!! GREG!!!!!!!!" House heard someone scream from a distance.

Slowly House opened his eyes, to find himself laying in Cuddy's lap. House was drenched in cold sweat and he was silently crying. He looked around in fear. He went to move but Cuddy gently pushed him back down.

"Greg, it's okay. You're safe. It was just a nightmare. You could rip out your stitches if you're not careful. Here," Cuddy helped him lean against the headboard and she stayed sitting beside him.

"It seemed so real." House finally said after a few minutes went by.

"They tend too. I thought you might have one. I did. I came running in here when I heard you talking in your sleep. When you started screaming I was getting desperate, but your awake now."

"Sorry I woke you."

"Greg, you don't have to be sorry. I'm just happy I was here."

They stayed in silence for a little while before House started talking.

"I was at the hospital, then my father appeared out of no where. He began calling me a failure, saying that I let him down. He wanted to punish me and asked me what punishment I deserved. I told him I didn't know. He suggested that we ask my mother, and I begged him not too. Then my mom appeared and said she already knew the situation. That I killed them both, my own parents, because I let pride get in the way of my own judgement. I told her it wasn't like that, and that I was sorry. My dad told me I failed them when they needed me the most. Then he said I had to experience what they went through. I begged him not too, that I didn't mean to kill them. He told me that it was too late, and that sorry didn't cut it. Then he leaned over me, about to grab me, when I woke up. He was right though, I killed them. I failed them. They needed me, and I just let them die. I deserve their fate. They didn't deserve to die, but I do. Cuddy I want to die. Let me die. Please," House said as he broke out into uncontrollable sobs.

Cuddy pulled him into her arms, and held him tight. She let him get out all of his guilt, as she held him there. This is the most vulnerable she had ever seen House, and this made her want to cry. She knew what he was going through, she had been in his place. She had been the one crying. She had been the one wanting to die, and now she had to watch as a friend went through the same thing. House eventually cried himself to sleep, but Cuddy didn't mind. She adjusted herself, so that she was leaning against the headboard. She let him lay against her and she wrapped her arms protectively around him, as she too drifted off to sleep.

A/N:

Sorry about the delay with the next chapter. I had tons of papers to write before Christmas Break. Hope y'all enjoy this next chapter. If plans go right, the next chapter should be up before the New Year. Anywayz Happy Holidays. And as always, please review. I'll take the good and the bad.

Thanks.


	6. Chapter 6

Surviving Misery

Chapter 6

Cuddy pulled him into her arms, and held him tight. She let him get out all of his guilt, as she held him there. This is the most vulnerable she had ever seen House, and this made her want to cry. She knew what he was going through, she had been in his place. She had been the one crying. She had been the one wanting to die, and now she had to watch as a friend went through the same thing. House eventually cried himself to sleep, but Cuddy didn't mind. She adjusted herself, so that she was leaning against the headboard. She let him lay against her and she wrapped her arms protectively around him, as she too drifted off to sleep.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

House woke up and looked around, his head spinning. Details of the the last day, flooded him, but in random order. He immediately noticed that he was laying against another person. Then it all hit him at once. He was laying against Cuddy, she had come into his room last night. He had a nightmare, she comforted him. He cried in front of her, he let his vulnerability show. She could tell everyone, she's going to ruin the reputation. Maybe she won't, she's been through this too. She'll defiantly use it against him. All of the thoughts passed through his mind and he began to panic. He went to sit up, but a sharp pain prevented him from moving. He let out a groan of pain, waking Cuddy. She placed an arm around House to stop him from moving.

"Relax, don't move. You might injure your ribs further," Cuddy said, before helping him sit against the headboard.

Cuddy then left the room, but quickly came back with a glass of water and two vicodin pills. House took the pills with the water, then gave her back the glass.

"Thanks." House muttered.

"Well it's not like I want you in pain. I'm gonna go make us some breakfast, do you need anything?"

"No, I have a remote. I'll channel surf until I find some boring show, that I'll be forced to watch because there is nothing better on. I hate Saturday morning TV." House griped.

Cuddy laughed then left the room. As she made breakfast, he began to rummage through the drawers in the night stand. If she had something on him, he will find something on her. Just in case. House turned on the TV, left it on the news, then searched the first drawer. Nothing. He growled in frustration, but continued onto the second drawer. The second drawer had different papers in it. He sifted through the papers, and came across a picture that turned upside down. He quickly picked it up, and turned it over. He recognized the picture immediately, even though he hadn't seen the picture for a little over twenty years. It was of House and Cuddy outside eating outside at a cafe. They were both smiling at each other, and he had one of her hands in his. Their mutual friend had taken that picture without either of them knowing, then gave each of them a copy as a Christmas gift. House stared at the picture as all those memories filled his head.

Cuddy and House had dated for a year and an half, before House left to transfer to another school. During that time, they had gotten really close and were in love. He was scared of the commitment that would soon happen in their relationship, so he found a way out of the relationship. He left Michigan, and ceased all contact with her in hopes to stop the feelings that he had. Fifteen years later she hired him. She had never showed any sign that she even remembered Michigan, but it haunted him. All of the what ifs started to form in his mind and never left. When he met Stacy, he thought the thoughts would leave. But, he was wrong. Eventually he drove Stacy away in an attempt not to hurt her. His feelings for Cuddy and their old relationship swarmed him, and have controlled him ever since. Part of him wants to restart his relationship with Cuddy or pick up where it was left off, but the other part of him doesn't want to risk the chance of getting hurt.

Cuddy walked into the room, and seen House staring at the picture. She had forgotten that she had left the picture in the drawer. She had put that picture in the guest room, so she wouldn't accidentally come across it. She did not want her old feelings for House stirred up, and she did not want to relive old memories. Deep down, she knew she still loved him, but she would not admit that to anyone. She didn't want to get hurt again. When she offered House her guest room, she knew that old feelings would resurface, but she did it to help him.

Cuddy walked into the room, and House looked up. He didn't even try to hide the picture, he just sat it down on the table. She handed him a plate of fried eggs, bacon, and a sausage biscuit. He smiled at the fact that she still new his favorite meal as he took the plate. He began to eat it as she sat down on the end of the bed with her own plate.

"Thank you." House said as he continued eating.

"Well I wasn't going to starve you." Cuddy replied.

"I meant for last night. You didn't have to do that, but you did. So thank you."

"That's what friends do, they help each other. You're welcome though. And don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I would hate to see your reputation ruined."

House smirked, but deep down he was extremely grateful for her silence. His cell phone rang and he quickly answered it.

"Hello? ... Yeah ... thanks ... Tomorrow? Okay ... Take it out of my account ... thanks ... 2 o'clock? ... That will be fine ... Bye "

"Who was that?" Cuddy asked curiously.

House had almost forgotten about all that had happened when he found the picture, but now it all came back to him with a vengeance.

"Greg, what's wrong?" Cuddy asked, now concerned by the blank look on his face.

He looked up at her then took a moment before speaking.

"I need a favor."

A/N:

Hope you guys enjoyed the lastest chapter. Happy Holidays. Please give me Christmas presents by leaving me reviews, even if it's coal. Thanks.


	7. Chapter 7

Surviving Misery

Chapter 7

House had almost forgotten about all that had happened when he found the picture, but now it all came back to him with a vengeance.

"Greg, what's wrong?" Cuddy asked, now concerned by the blank look on his face.

He looked up at her then took a moment before speaking.

"I need a favor."

"Okay. How can I help?" Cuddy asked, as her mind reeled on who could have called House.

"That was the funeral director on the phone. They finished the arrangements for my parents funeral. It's at 2 o'clock tomorrow in Baltimore. I don't want to go, but I need to. So I was hoping, if it wasn't an inconvenience for you, if you could possibly take me to -" House asked, stumbling over the words, but Cuddy interrupted.

"It's not an inconvience, Greg. I'll go pack a bag, then I'll reserve a hotel. We'll leave in a few hours."

"Thank you." House replied before she left the room.

House looked back at the picture that he placed on the night stand. After everything he had put her through she still helped him, she still cared about him. He knew he owed her so much for what she is doing for him, but he didn't know how to thank her. He put the picture into the pocket of his jacket, then slowly slid to the edge of the bed. He went to stand up, and his leg gave out. He fell head first into the corner of the night stand before hitting the ground hard. His left arm seared with pain, even in the brace and cast. He let out a howl of pain.

Cuddy ran into his bedroom, only to find House on the ground clenching his left arm and blood dribbled down his forehead. Cuddy immediately ran into the bathroom to get the first aid kit, then ran out of the room. She returned seconds later with a shot of morphine, and a bottle of vicodin. She then sat down next to him, and helped him sit up. She looked at his arm, then back at him.

"Do you think you reinjured your arm?"

"Yeah, it's broken again."

"Can you stand?"

"Yeah I think I can."

Cuddy helped him to his feet, then helped him to the car. She quickly went back to the house to grab two bags of clothes and his jacket. She put them in the car as well then drove them both to the hospital. They went to the clinic, and she checked him in and shoved him in an exam room. She told him to stay there then left the room. Ten minutes later she came back with the materials to redo his cast and a wheel chair.

"We need a new x-ray of your arm, and I didn't think you wanted to walk." Cuddy replied.

Thirty minutes later they were back in the exam room, the x-rays taken, and the results analyzed. His arm was broken again, and needed to be reset. Cuddy removed his old cast with the help of a mini saw then grabbed his arm.

"You ready?"

"Just do it." House replied.

Cuddy pulled on his arm, and House let out a moan of pain. She then quickly made his new cast, then reset his brace around it. She then pulled out the first aid kit and opened it. She removed some gauze, alcohol pads, and materials needed for sutures. She sat down in the rolling chair, and lowered the bed House was on.

"This will sting a little." Cuddy said before she wiped the wound with alcohol pad.

She then carefully threaded the needle, and pressed it against his forehead.

"I know it's going to hurt so you don't have to tell me, just get it over with." House stated, before clinching his fist.

Ten minutes later his wound was closed and Cuddy was wiping the access blood off of his forehead. She then placed gauze over the wound, and taped it to his forehead. House continuously stared at Cuddy's lips during the entire medical procedure. He wanted to kiss her, but he feared her reaction. Once Cuddy was done, she went to turn around to put the medical supplies back in there rightful place, fully aware of the tension building between the two of them.

"Cuddy" House muttered softly.

Cuddy's mind screamed at her to stand up and walk away, but she turned around. She stared into House's eyes which she knew was a mistake. He leaned toward her and gently placed his hand against her cheek and she leaned against the touch. House took this as a sign on approval, so he slowly pressed his lips against hers, ensuring that she had every opportunity to stop him. She kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck. He deepened the kiss and she didn't fight against it. After a few seconds, she pulled away.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Cuddy declared as she stood up, putting as much distance between them as she could.

"You didn't have a problem with it a few minutes ago." House replied standing up and walking toward her.

"I got caught up in my emotions, and I shouldn't have. For that you have my apologies."

"Not good enough." House said as he backed her into a corner.

"It is for me."

"Why did you not want to get caught up in your emotions?"

"You know why. This was a mistake. The tension just became to intense, and we acted on it, that's all."

"You don't even believe what you are saying. Why don't you want to see where this could lead us?"

"Because we've been down this road before, House. Because I remember what happened when we got to the crossroad. You ran away, and never looked back." Cuddy said in anger.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Sorry about the cliff hanger. Please review. I even accept the bad stuff. Thanks for reading, and have a happy new year.


	8. Chapter 8

Surviving Misery

Chapter 8

"Why did you not want to get caught up in your emotions?"

"You know why. This was a mistake. The tension just became to intense, and we acted on it, that's all."

"You don't even believe what you are saying. Why don't you want to see where this could lead us?"

"Because we've been down this road before, House. Because I remember what happened when we got to the crossroad. You ran away, and never looked back." Cuddy said in anger.

"It wasn't like that and you know it." House replied, even though he knew the truth.

"Really? Because I remember that day vividly. You told me that the Dean was forcing you to transfer schools. You told me you would keep in touch. Both of these statements were lies. You asked the Dean if you couldn't transfer schools, because you had learned all that you could. You never called me. Then you have the audacity to show up in my office fifteen years later, and ask me for a job. You would have run away from Princeton Plainsboro, but no other hospital would hire you. So you were screwed. So when you ask me why I don't want to see where this could lead us, here's your answer. It's simple really. I don't want to be hurt again, and this will eventually lead to me getting hurt. And I refuse to go through that again." Cuddy stated, her voice cracking from trying to hide a sob.

House couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had hurt Cuddy all those years ago, and she never forgave him. She shouldn't forgive him. He was a jerk, and he was still a jerk now. He accepted her hospitality, which only probably increased her pain. He now had three options: he could tell her sorry and risk his own emotions, he could continue this arguement and hurt her more but save his pride, or he could remain silent and hope the whole agruement will blow over. Two options would hurt her further, one option would hurt him. He had no idea what he was going to do, but he knew he had to act fast.

He looked at Cuddy who was still trapped between his arms on either side of her body. He noticed that she had let a tear fall down her cheek, and House then realized how much he had hurt her. He moved his hand, and wiped the tear from her cheek. She looked up at him and into his eyes. She saw, for the first time in her life, regret and remorse, but waited for his voice to confirm it.

"Lisa, I - I - I'm sorry about that. About my actions at Michigan."

Cuddy could not believe what she was hearing. House apologized. He never apologizes for anything. Why now, why wait twenty years?

"Why now, you could have apologized anytime before this, but you choose now, why?" Cuddy asked.

House knew he deserved this question, truth be told, he deserved a lot worse. He had hurt her beyond repair.

"I don't like apologizing to begin with, but this is a necessity. I didn't know how much I had hurt you until today. And regardless of all the pain I've caused you, you still helped me. The least I could do was apologize. So I'm sorry for what I did. I feel I owe you an explanation. You sure as hell deserve one. Here sit down."

Cuddy did as she was told and sat down on the bed, and House sat down in the doctor chair in front of her.

"When I left Michigan, I only left because of me. We had such a good relationship, and I knew it would remain good. I knew soon you would want some form of a commitment. I wasn't worried about that so much as I was worried about what would happen after the commitment. I knew I couldn't handle myself if you ever left me. I figured one day you would get tired of me and leave me. So I left Michigan without explanation to prevent the pain. I thought that you wouldn't be hurt, so I didn't call. You were also right about the circumstances surrounding my hiring. I had no idea you ran the hospital, but it was my last resort. I am sorry for all I've done. I want to make it up to you. I need to make it up to you. Once I can use my arm again, I want to take you out on a date. My parents death, has done two things for me. It has shown me how quickly life goes by, and how much I still want us to be us. I thought the feelings for you would fade, but I was wrong. I know this is a lot of stuff to digest, and I want you to have time to process all of it, so I'm going to leave this alone for now. But once you've analyzed this, and contemplated all the options, we can talk again."

Cuddy stared at him in disbelief. This is not the normal House. House was never this open about anything except watching porn on the Internet.

"House you're not yourself right now, you don't understand what you're saying. You have a concussion, your parents have just died, and you've just suffered from a re broken bone." Cuddy stated, rationalizing his actions easily.

House shook his head in frustration. He knew all of this, but he still wanted another relationship with her. If she didn't believe him, he would have to prove it to her. He leaned foreward for the second time that day and kissed her. Cuddy tried not to kiss back, but House was very persistent. She gave into her struggle and kissed him back, her mind screaming at her for not following her logic. When they finally needed air, House pressed his forehead against hers.

"I want a relationship."

A/N: Hey guys. Thank you everyone who has sent reviews, I greatly appreciate it. Please keep them coming. I'm hoping that the next chapter will be the final one but we'll see.


	9. Chapter 9

Surviving Misery

Chapter 9

"House you're not yourself right now, you don't understand what you're saying. You have a concussion, your parents have just died, and you've just suffered from a re broken bone." Cuddy stated, rationalizing his actions easily.

House shook his head in frustration. He knew all of this, but he still wanted another relationship with her. If she didn't believe him, he would have to prove it to her. He leaned forward for the second time that day and kissed her. Cuddy tried not to kiss back, but House was very persistent. She gave into her struggle and kissed him back, her mind screaming at her for not following her logic. When they finally needed air, House pressed his forehead against hers.

"I want a relationship."

"I don't know if I'm ready for that yet, Greg. I don't want to be hurt again."

"That's fine. I won't ask for anything more." House replied.

"Let's go, we have to be in Baltimore by 6 o'clock."

They left for Baltimore, House quickly falling asleep. Cuddy didn't know what to do. She wanted another relationship with House, but at the same time, she didn't want to be hurt again. It had taken her nearly a year to get over him, and she didn't want to have to suffer that again. The relationship could go really well, but there was also the possibility that the relationship could take a turn for the worst. They had a lot of good memories within their relationship, but there were bad ones to. She had no idea about what to do. Part of her wanted to tell him no so she could see him suffer the same pain she had went through. Her mind continued to wonder as she drove to Baltimore. Once she arrived at the hotel, she woke House up.

"We're here Greg. C'mon."

House slowly got out of the car, and followed Cuddy. Ten minutes later, they were at their hotel door. She opened it up and realized that there was only one bed. She shared a quick glance with House before settling down in the room. She quickly unpacked their things then helped House change for the night. She changed inside the bathroom. They both climbed into the bed, it was a king size after all, and laid down.

"Don't try anything, Greg."Cuddy warned as she turned out the light.

"Wouldn't dare, while you were awake at least."House replied.

Cuddy quickly fell asleep, and House put his arm around her then went to sleep as well.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

The next morning Cuddy awoke to House's arm across her stomach. She smiled as she remembered how it used to feel to wake up like this every morning. She carefully lifted his arm up, and scooted out from underneath it. She glanced at the clock, 10:13 am. Cuddy groaned.

"House wake up, get dressed" Cuddy said before leaving the room to get changed.

House woke up, then looked at the clock. He carefully stood up and began to dress. Cuddy, who was now in all black, came out of the bathroom. She quickly helped House change before they left for the funeral.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The funeral service was short, most of the people who showed up were the military officials his dad worked with. Everyone viewed the bodies, House and Cuddy being the last two. House stood there for a few minutes, just staring at them, before he squeezed his mother's hand. He just looked at his father, he couldn't bring himself to do anything else. Once the viewing service was over, they walked over to the cemeteryand watched them be lowered into the ground, and covered with dirt. Cuddy had slid her hand in his while the caskets were lowered and he squeezed her hand.

Once everyone had left, he looked at Cuddy.

"Could I have a few minutes alone with them?" House asked her.

"Yeah, take your time Greg." Cuddy replied before walking away from where he was.

House stared at their names for a few minutes, before he spoke.

"I'm sorry mom. Dad. I should have listened to the other doctors, I could have ran other tests. But I let my pride get in the way. I killed the two of you. And i'll have to live with that. Dad, I'm sorry I failed you. I failed you as a son, and I am sorry. I never could do anything right, I always had to rebel. Mom, I'm sorry. If I would have just listened to someone else besides myself, maybe this wouldn't have happened. But I want you both to know something, I'm trying to change my life around. I want to make you proud of me, even if you can't be around to see it. I really am sorry. I wish I could take it back, but I can't and I'm the only one to blame for that."

House sat their for about thirty more minutes, reliving the memories that he had over the years. He finally stood up, and he took one last look at their tombstones.

"I love you." House muttered before he walked away.

He found Cuddy with her eyes closed kneeled over someone's grave. He quickly figured out it was her brother's grave, and he placed his right hand on her shoulder and squeezed lightly. A few seconds later she stood up, and faced House.

"You okay?" House asked her, noticing that her cheeks were tear stained.

"Yeah, I am. You okay?" She replied.

"I will be."

He turned to walk away, and she placed her hand in his. He smiled faintly, as did she, before they walked back to the car. It was a new day for both of them, but they knew they could turn toward each other for help.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Two Years later...

House was in the clinic, when Cuddy walked in.

"You have no patient, but you called for a consult?"

"Well, you see, my leg is killing me doctor, and I don't know why. I thought maybe you could examine it," House replied.

"Lie back on the table. Slid off your pants, so I can have a look at it," Cuddy said as she opened the drawer behind her that had morphine in it.

There was a small black box in the drawer, which she immediately picked up. She opened it, and found a diamond ring. She looked up at House who just smiled at her.

"Is this - Are you going to ask me to -" Cuddy stated in shock before house interrupted her.

"I want a commitment, Lisa. I would get down on one knee, but my leg is killing me. Will you marry me?"

Cuddy was in shock, but quickly kissed him as her answer.

"So is that a yes?"

"What do you think?" Cuddy asked before kissing him again. He slid the ring on her finger as she kissed him. Finally both of them were happy, because neither one of them were hurt, and if one did get hurt, the other one would be there for them.

A/N:

Well that was a long ride to get here now, huh? Well I hope you enjoyed the story. Thank you all for your support with the story, along with the reviews. But keep reviewing please. I love reviews.

Sorry about the ending, hope it isn't to if it is, please tell me, and I'll fix it.


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